left 4 shrek 2
by StarRay05
Summary: Coach and nick are back.This time They get in a wild car chase when shrek comes and they must encounter him. rated T for crude humor
1. here comes shrek

Previously shrek says its not ogre yet,it will never be ogre...

One day coach and nick were stranded on a road all day

the song [o' sweet death] playing while coach and nick are both standing in silence

then a ford truck pulls up,its ellis.

He asks if they need a ride

coach says "yeah"

coach and nick walk into the truck and they go to their destination

the radio turns on playing the song

"we like to party"

coach and nick shake their heads smiling to the magic mountain music

then suddenly something in a foggy spot standing in the middle of the road.its a dark shadow with its eyes glowing

ellis turns off the music

and sees something in the fog.

ellis:um nick,nick...nick!

nick:what!?

ellis:I think i see shrek

nick:i dont care.Hes gay

coach:Heh heh

you didnt happen to say shrek is love 3 times?

ellis:I dunno

coach:if you did,hes probably lookin 4 you.

coach looks out the window he sees shrek

(coach frowns)Ah hell no boy.

im gon kill dat son of b*

they pull over,coach walks out with his chainsaw

suddenly the shadow turned out to be shrek.

shrek turns around saying:This is my swamp

coach:not today

coach uses chainsaw against shrek buzzing him

shrek gets back up

the chainsaw was no effect.

he tries wrestling shrek but shrek nearly kills coach so nick fires his rifle to chase shrek away

coach screams and says

"let's get da hell outta here!"

[gas can of victory] song playing while

they jump in truck and driving fast

coach is driving

suddenly but shrek chases them behind flying

Nick:keep driving,dont stop!

[steps on the pedal fast]

loud vroom while speeding and truck keeps swirling on road

shrek stands in middle of road so he can stop them

shrek is still standing there grinning

coach says "now i aint effin around" and drives up hits shrek over sending him flying off.

Coach:Its all ogre now,hehe.

suspenseful music playing while shrek jumps back towards the truck smashing it pushing coach and nick out screaming.

the truck is destroyed

next chapter will coach and nick defeat shrek?


	2. the ogre affair

The narrator says.Coach and nick are trying to escape the woods.

Ellis gets possessed by shrek and goes missing.

He is seen praying to shrek everynight.

did shrek put him under his spell so they can have shrex?

Its still in the dark woods with loud wind sounds giving you the chills.

the song [o' sweet death] playing

Coach and nick are walking with echoing footsteps.

Nick:hope we can get out before were ogre soup.

Coach:you Gotta keep quiet,He might hear you.

Then they spot a van.

Coach says,Hey we can get out using that van.

They use a Abandoned van and use it to escape the woods.

nick whispering says:Yes!

They both get in and start driving on road through the dark woods.

coach:Man this is bout to get bag daddy sh*t.

(coach calls ellis on cellphone)

Ellis answers the phone saying the shrek is love speech.

ellis is under shreks spell with glowing white eyes.

He's muttering,i pray to him everynight. He will make love to me tonight.

coach:Ah hell no boy!Shrek must be behind this.

nick:I can't believe shrek has affairs with men.

coach:He must be Homo-Shrexual

"heh heh heh."

Then a scene zooming at a house

The narrator in deep voice says,At the house in ellis room,Ellis is praying to shrek.

Then shrek slides in Ellis window saying,this is my swamp.

Coach says:I'm ready to kick some ogre ass!

Nick:Me too so i can stop hearing ellis nonsense.

then they dash to ellis house with midnight ride song.

[country rock playing]

in the room with ellis with Shrek tells ellis This is my swamp. He would fill his butt with love.

But coach and nick over hear it after pulling up.

coach:Theres going be some biblical sh*t happening to you if you did that!

shrek:I live in a swamp,i put up signs,im a terrifying ogre,WHY CANT I GET ANY PRIVACY HERE?

Shrek says:im just going to kill you and have affair with ellis.

Coach:Excuse me...Excuse me!?

coach:You try that sh*t on him,you'll be wishing Yo mama never met your father!

shrek:Get out me swamp rightnow.

Coach:Now i aint effin around

he pulls out a chainsaw (VROOM!)

He buzzes shreks crotch with saw.But the chainsaw didnt cut him.

ellis comes out floating with bright white eyes a exorcist voice saying:i will destroy you.Then shrek will make love to me.

shrek says:You'll never win Stubborn jack @$$!He forces ellis beating up nick with a bat violently (wack pow wack!)

nick is on ground crooked looking

ellis laughs echoing sinisterly

Then coach says,ellis,settle down boy.

This used to be a nice neighborhood!

coach flies up to shrek and explodes him.

[shrek screams like doing that almighty roar.]

Shrek explodes

Then nick says:its all ogre now,i don't have to put up with ellis shrek fantasies

then coach dances to Ymca singing the lyrics in high soul voice while stretching his neck and arms

the end.


End file.
